Everyone's selling you a unicorn — rented by the seat, repriced at will, gone when they pivot. We'll build you the 🫏 instead: a working AI service that carries one real, load-bearing workflow — and belongs to you. Branded with your mark, not ours.
Rent a unicorn vs. own a 🫏
| Rent a unicorn | Own a donkey 🫏 | |
|---|---|---|
| Pricing | Per-seat, forever — the meter never stops | Built once, yours to keep |
| Control | Repriced at their whim, on their roadmap | The fork is your asset, on your terms |
| Durability | Deprecated the moment they pivot | Runs where you run it — doesn't disappear |
| Data | Your data lives on their platform | Your data stays yours, full stop |
| Brand | You're a tenant using their interface | It wears your mark, not ours |
The model underneath is a commodity. What you'd own is the workflow, the data, and the brand wrapped around it — the part that's actually yours.
How it would work
Not a subscription. A premium owned asset — priced to the workflow, handed over with the keys.
One-time. We'd scope your one load-bearing workflow, build the worker, brand it, and hand you the fork.
Your keys, your accounts. You'd pay the model provider directly — we never meter it.
Optional upkeep, tuning, model updates. Cancel anytime — your 🫏 keeps running. Ownership is spelled out in a plain handoff agreement.
The stable opens soon
We're opening OYASS to a first set of owners. Drop your email and we'll reach out when the stable opens — no drip, no spam.
— have lined up to own their ass so far.
Straight answers
A subscription is rent — five years of it buys you nothing you keep. A 🫏 would be built once and owned. Different math, different posture.
No. That's the difference between owning a 🫏 and self-hosting one. We'd deliver it working; you'd own it without babysitting infrastructure.
The fork — the code, the workflow, the data, and the brand on it. It would run where you run it. If we vanished tomorrow, your 🫏 would keep working.
The model is the commodity underneath. What you'd own is the workflow, the data, and the brand wrapped around it — the part that's actually yours.